This chapter of story time recalls an event that took place at the headquarters of the Coca-Cola Company about 10 years ago.
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We
are gathered here today to hear Sergio Zyman, Senior Vice President of the
Coca-Cola Company. He’s come to evaluate
our project. By all appearances, he’s
made up his mind.
“Well,
thank you for this, but, really, it’s lazy marketing, isn’t it?”
We’re
arrayed in a very large horseshoe, about 50 of us. Mr. Zyman sits at the opening of the
horseshoe, smiling, gracious, handsome and pitiless.
“I
mean, it’s not very good, is it?”
This
is wrong and its irritating. The project
team has spend 12 weeks trying hard to get it right. Our best efforts have been judged and found
wanting.
“But
I don’t want to talk to you about the project.”
Mr.
Zyman pauses for effect.
“No,
I’m here to talk to you about the Catholic Church.”
If
the opening remark was painful, this one is bewildering. We are deep inside the
well-fortified Atlanta headquarters of the Coca-Cola Company. We are assembled, surely, to talk about soft
drinks. But Mr. Zyman wants to talk
about…the Catholic church. For some
reason, everyone looks at Mr. Zyman’s half dozen assistants.
These
men and women are, at the moment, not just looking at their boss, they are scanning him. Was
there a memo? When did we talk about
this? Did I miss something? They are x-raying the boss for any little
sign. Mr. Zyman gives no hint.
“So,
you’re the Catholic church, what’s your problem?”
The
question is not rhetorical. Mr. Zyman
wants an answer. No one says a
thing. We’re calculating the odds. With over 50 people in the room, what are the
chances any one of us will have to answer it? Every one appears to have hit upon the same strategy. Avoid contact. Keep your head down. Maybe he fix on someone else.
Wrong
again. Mr. Zyman is asking
everyone. He’s starting at the top of
the horseshoe and he’s going to go around. He’s going to begin with one of his assistants.
Poor
man. Perfect in his conservative blue suit,
distinguished grey hair, and five hundred dollar shoes, he ought to be the
picture of composure. Not today. Today he’s at the limit of his competence. This is a man who can no doubt recite profit
and loss statements for the last four quarters for any of the hundreds of
countries in which Coca-Cola does business. He can give you figures for “volume versus profit” for each decade in
the post war period. What he cannot do
is talk about the Catholic church. More
to the point, what he cannot do is turn on a dime.
Mr.
ExpensiveShoes stares at his boss. He
stares at his own handsome leather folder. He looks again at his boss and quickly back to the folder. His eyes are losing that racing quality. They are beginning ever so slightly to
glaze. He clutches at his folder. He opens his mouth...and nothing comes out.
“Well,
let’s go round the room. So you’re the Catholic church, what’s your
problem.”
If
anxiety were a colour, the air above our heads is now fuchsia. It is clear that every single one of us is
going to have to answer Mr. Zyman’s bewildering question. There is, in fact, no
place to hide. We all set to thinking
and the next person in the horseshoe struggles to rise to the occasion.
“My
problem is that, that, I’m running out of priests.”
“That
is not your problem. Next.”
“The
problem is that I’m running out of believers.”
“Better. Why?”
“um...birth
control?”
“Please. Next!”
“I
did away with incense and Latin and mystery.”
“Interesting. We’ll come back to that. Next.”
I
can see my turn coming. It is about 20
people away and moving towards me like an Exocet. The anxiety is so high I keep blanking. I have to reconstruct. If the answer was “I did away with incense
and Latin and mystery,” what was the question? Finally it comes to me. (I am a
game show contestant: “Alex, I believe it’s, “What is the problem with the
Catholic church?”) But the anxiety’s so
high I lose it again. Fortunately, it’s
still someone else’s turn.
“The
Pope is turning back the clock.”
“Yikes,
that’s not it.”
Some
people probably got it right away. Predictably, it took me several minutes. Mr. Zyman is not asking us to contemplate the problems of the Catholic
church. He’s asking us to contemplate
the problems of the Coca-Cola company. Plainly, this is, for Mr. Zyman, a technical exercise. He means no irreverence in suggesting a
profane institution like Coca-Cola bears a resemblance to the Catholic
Church. He’s after something else.
Using
metaphor is a good idea for two reasons. Normally, a discussion of this kind inside Coca-Cola would be loaded
with politics. The question, “So you’re
the Coca-Cola Company, what’s your problem?” invites disparate opinions and
some deeply felt hostilities.
More
important, the metaphor is transformational. It helps us think. Both Coca-Cola
and the Catholic church are (each in their way) ancient international
enterprises. Both are losing market
share (and faithful) in first world countries. Both must compete with a range of new competitors who did not exist 20
years ago. In Coca-Cola’s case, this is
Snapple, Gatorade, bottled water, and an explosion of developments in the tea
and coffee categories. For the Catholic
church, this is Protestant fundamentalism on one side and New Age spirituality
on the other. (I know no one wants to
hear this, but, at a deep cultural level, the two are not unrelated.)
Both
institutions are so deeply rooted in their own conventions and traditions that
rapid change is difficult. Both
institutions find themselves in worlds of new and extraordinary dynamism. There was a time in which both Coke and Rome
controlled their environment because, to a large extent, they were the environment. They called the shots. For both institutions those days are
gone.
Mr.
Zyman’s strategy is beginning to work. As people use the metaphor, they begin to see the Coca-Cola company anew
(to say nothing of the Catholic church). Before long, the room quickens to the pace. Anxiety is replaced by the thrill of the
chase. Before long, Mr. Zyman is working
us like a roomful of better-than-average Princetonians.
But
there were some people who never saw what we were talking about. Well educated, talented, hardworking, the
best and the brightest of a Yale MBA class, they still can not quite “get
it.” Oh, they get the formulae:
Coca-Cola = Catholic church. But they
can't do the exercise. They can't play it out. More than one of the assistants resorts to
saying “pass” when his turn comes. And
one of them actually says, “I agree with what the person before me said.”
This
is not pretty to watch. Executives who
can't get the metaphor do at least have a very clear idea of what is happening
to their careers. These disastrous
performances are making them look flat footed, unimaginative knuckleheads. In the high altitude world of Mr. Zyman’s
Coca-Cola, this is fast becoming a culling exercise: a new way to separate the
sheep from the goats.
There
was a time at Coca-Cola that Mr. ExpensiveShoes could be another kind of
person. Indeed there was a time when
Coca-Cola was very like the military (or, for that matter, the Catholic
church). The individual who wished to
rise with in it had a clear path cut out for them. Learn the rule book, abide by the rule book,
administer the rule book and put in your time. These days, an additional set of skills are called for.